Changing Weather

In one of Scott's last emails to me, he told me that in the toughest times he wished we were curled up in bed watching a movie, but in the beautiful moments, that he wished I was there, seeing and experiencing what he was. This morning, I finally realized what he meant. This morning, I felt Spain. I felt its icy breath on my cheeks as I struggled with Zoe to not eat the garbage that was left on the street. I felt its power with the wind pushing me up the huge hill that I have to climb every morning. I felt Spain. I ran with the people down the escalator to catch the train so that I wouldn't be late to work. I wormed my way through people to finally find a seat so that I could read and grade papers during my trip. I smiled at the sunrise over Madrid. I laughed with my students about carving pumpkins. I talked with teachers about getting together and making a halloween meal. We compared notes on where to find cream cheese for cheesecake. Today, it all felt real.

I understand. Because I too have those days where all I want is to be back in Portland, curled up on the couch under a down comforter, watching every re-run of law and order that exists and listening to the rain fall softly on the roof. But today, I wanted to be here. And I wanted to share. I wanted others to feel the weather, the people, the language, the train. I wanted to share the life of Spain.